
Waspy Feet
The slippers you see with monograms, crests, death's-heads, and other semiheraldic iconography aren't necessarily for wearing only with a tux. They're probably better with a smoking jacket or showing off a fancy silk robe. I have always found these shoes to have a little too much content for my taste (Shelly's Modeling Agencies offers a velvet pair, one embroidered with a screw and one with a U), but to each his own. I see no reason not to wear them with jeans. I wear my black Belgian Shoes, which are similar in spirit, with evening dress or with jeans. But black formal pumps in calf or patent leather won't work with jeans. You'd look like somebody stole your tux at gunpoint.
Sea Bags
I'm a weekend commuter. Every Friday I head for the hills, usually schlepping my canvas-and-leather duffel from T. Anthony. And that's what I'd haul as a weekend guest too. I sometimes use heavy-duty-canvas tote bags, which also make perfect beach bags once you get there. The best ones I have are from the fashionable Woolrich Woolen Mills (they may have been "promotional"; not sure if Woolrich actually sells them) and from Utility Canvas (these have handy snaps, too). L.L. Bean makes a fairly inexpensive and serviceable bag as well. But you can pick up a pretty good one at Whole Foods for $7.99, and why not? These strong bags can carry everything from books to groceries to that unfinished bottle of Bordeaux. Speaking of which, they're washable.
Kipa Code
I don't know if an Irish ex-Catholic with Druidic sympathies can claim much authority when it comes to yarmulkes, but I do know that I would rather have my lawyer or accountant wear a black or navy suede or velvet yarmulke than something that looks like it could double as a hot pad or a Frisbee case. And if it's fulfilling a religious sentiment, then it probably shouldn't have a smiley face or Bart Simpson or anything reminiscent of pop art. Even a peace symbol. This is one of those cases where less is inevitably more.
Paw Pecker
The etiquette is this: Never offer a woman your hand. If she offers hers, shake it gently. Whatever you do, do not kiss the hand of a woman you do not know. You will be branded in her memory as an asshole forever. The women who present their hands palm-down are probably just being ladylike. Not ladylike as in "Lord and Lady-like." They are simply offering their hands gracefully. Presenting the hand palm-down is more graceful than shoving it at your thumbs-up like somebody running for Congress. In fact, these women are probably showing you their wedding and engagement rings so you don't get any funny ideas about them, see? If you need to kiss a hand, go find a bishop.
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